I don't like "like."

As the Sara Lee jingle says, “Everybody doesn’t like something…”  Well I don’t like “like.”  It is amazing how something as insignificant as inserting the word, “like” before any or all spoken sentences has become so prevalent among young people.  It is annoying as all…like…heck. 

The over-use of “like” also reflects a deeper social psychological phenomenon.  We are in the throws of a national, maybe even international, epidemic of narcissism.  (Though I doubt people in some parts of Africa have time for narcissism.) According to the Pub Med website, “Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves.” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930

Some of the symptoms are an obsession with physical appearance, lack of concern for the impact one’s behavior has on others and lack of concern for the future.  Narcissism differs from arrogance, though the two can go hand-in-hand.  Arrogant people are certain they are always correct.  They have no need for qualifiers such as “like.”  Narcissistic people might think about themselves a bit too much but they are never sure of themselves.  By qualifying every declarative sentence with “like” it leaves the listener with the concept of some doubt about the factual or truthful nature of the assertion.  It gives the speaker a built-in escape clause.  “I didn’t say she was ugly.  I just said she was…like…ugly.”

There are other symptoms of this epidemic of narcissism.

According to www.cosmeticplasticsurgerystatistics.com the most common surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic procedures among men and women in 2007 included:
Botox 2,775,176

Hyaluronic Acid (Hylaform, Juvederm, Restylane) 1,448,716

Laser Hair Removal 1,412,657

Microdermabrasion 829,658

Laser Skin Resurfacing 647,707

Liposuction 456,828

Breast augmentation 399,440

Eyelid surgery 240,763

Abdominoplasty 185,335

Female breast reduction 153,087

To be fair, about 20% of breast surgery is for reconstruction following mastectomies.

Another symptom is the realization by advertising experts that there is a lot of money to made by appealing to the narcissism of the target audience.  In our area, one local furniture store uses the Queen song, “I Want it All” to appeal to the audience’s greed and lack of delay of gratification.  While the voice over talks about furniture financing deals the music screams, “I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it now.”

Nike ads now appeal to the narcissism of amateur athletes by pounding the old hit song, “Nobody But Me” by the Human Beinz.  At least that might get a few sedentary folks up off their keesters.  Sometimes we need to accept doing the right thing for the wrong reason.

So how does all this compare to the 60s? 

In the 60s the most socially desirable trait was “non-conformity.”   Now, of course, deliberately trying to be a non-conformist because that is the norm is a bit hypocritical or at least ironic.  To be a non-conformist one was supposed to let one’s hair grow long and wear bell-bottoms and tie-dyed shirts, but we were expected to think for ourselves…not about ourselves. 

The idea behind non-conformity was to think less about ourselves and to be more concerned about others.  This often was expressed through being involved in causes other than our own success.  Civil rights, the anti-war movement, the peace movement (not the same thing but that will be the subject of a future post), the women’s movement and social justice would seem to indicate concern for others.

Being a non-conformist was certainly a form of narcissism.  Choosing to be a non-conformist implies that our concerns and opinions are somehow important to others.

Just as we now say that “time will tell” what the long-term implications of narcissism will be, time has told us a great deal about the long-term implications of the 60s non-conformity.

Sadly, I can count on one hand…okay maybe both hands…the number of people who were activists in the 60s and still believe and act on those principles.  Most of the hippies I knew are now active (or retired) stock brokers, corporate managers, and…gasp…personally and politically conservative.

At least a lot of these guys have been consistent about one thing… German cars.  Of course then they drove VW Vans…now they drive BMWs.